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debra fileta

Debra Fileta: Do You Have Good People Skills?

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Join me today as I chat with the beautiful  Debra Fileta who gives us a lifeline to THRIVING!

Debra Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor and bestselling author of eight books. She’s a national speaker who travels the country reaching millions of people with the message of mental, emotional, and relational healing.

Her work has been featured by numerous media outlets, national television, syndicated radio, and ministries and churches nation-wide including Saddleback Church, Fresh Life Church, Lakewood Church, Focus on the Family, Better Together, The 700 Club, and many more.

She’s also the founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network, a national team of faith-forward, clinically-informed counselors, integrating faith and psychology to help people navigate personal and relational issues.

Debra is also the host of the popular podcast, and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me, where she hosts on-air counseling style sessions with people from across the country including notable pastors and leaders, as well as every-day hotline callers talking about the things many others shy away from.

She is the author of eight books, including True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, Love in Every Season, Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, Soul Care, and her first children’s book, Any Day Emotions.

She and her husband, John, and their four children live in Lancaster, PA. You can connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

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Debra Fileta

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Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and author who specializes in topics of faith, mental health, and relationships. She is known for her insightful writing on emotional and spiritual well-being, blending her clinical expertise with a compassionate, faith-based perspective. Debra’s works often explore themes such as dating, marriage, self-care, and personal growth, with a focus on helping readers navigate life’s challenges while deepening their faith. She is the author of several popular books, including True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, and Are You Really OK?, offering practical advice for building healthy, Christ-centered relationships. Debra also hosts a podcast, “Love + Relationships,” where she continues to share her wisdom on living a balanced and fulfilling life.

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CHERYL SCRUGGS is the host of the Thriving Beyond Belief podcast. She and her husband, Jeff, are doing life together and thriving in Dallas, Texas.

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Debra Fileta

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Debra Fileta is a passionate woman of faith, dedicated to Jesus. As a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and author, she specializes in dating, marriage, and relationship issues. Debra has written several books, including True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, Love in Every Season!, Are You Really Ok?, Married Sex, and RESET. She hosts the Love + Relationships Podcast, offering relationship advice to callers. Her influential blog, TrueLoveDates.com, promotes healthy relationships and reaches millions annually. Debra is also the founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network, offering online counseling sessions.

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CHERYL SCRUGGS is the host of the Thriving Beyond Belief podcast. She and her husband, Jeff, are doing life together and thriving in Dallas, Texas.

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167: Debra Fileta

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Today on Thriving Beyond Belief, we have Debra Fileta!

According to Fileta, people tend to assume they’re okay—until they’re not. Becoming healthy is an ongoing process that requires stopping, digging deep and asking the hard questions.

In her new book, Fileta challenges readers to get real with who they are and how they’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so they can recognize where they need growth and healing. Readers will learn to…

  • Understand and express emotions in healthy and helpful ways
  • Get to the root of what they believe about themselves, others, and God
  • Recognize the influences of past traumas and replace them with God’s truth
  • Honestly assess their own mental health and pursue help when it’s needed
  • Prioritize their physical well-being and see how it affects every other area of their life
  • Combat commonly believed lies about mental illness such as “true believers don’t suffer from
    depression”
  • Say “no” and set up healthy boundaries

Fileta knows firsthand that being a Christian doesn’t automatically make a person healthy. After 10+ years of marriage, 15 years of counseling clients, and four and a half books (she’s currently cowriting one with Gary Thomas), she not only possesses the knowledge and experience to coach readers on their journey to becoming more than okay––she has the heart for it. In Are You Really Okay? Fileta reveals some of her own traumas for the first time in print, including a miscarriage that nearly killed her and her deep struggles with both anxiety and depression––writing to her readers as if she were talking to a close friend and yet counseling them with the professional tools they need.

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113: Debra Fileta

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This week on the Thriving Beyond Belief podcast, Debra Fileta!

Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married – the quality of your relationships impacts the quality of your life. Healthy relationships are vital to healthy living. Licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta, has observed countless relationships at various stages and has guided clients through each one.

In her upcoming book, Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship (January 14, 2020), Fileta shares that each relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Just as nature cycles through seasons, relationships rotate through stages that can either make or break your love life. Each season plays an important role in taking a relationship to the next level, and depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow or slowly die.

Spring: The season of rapid growth where friendship blossoms and attraction blooms.

Summer: The season when things get hot physically, emotionally and spiritually, but if you’re not careful, you can end up getting burned in the heat of summer.

Fall: The seasons where your true colors begin to vulnerably shine through, as you learn the art of building trust through healthy conflict and communication.

Winter: The season when things begin to cool down, and your relationship is either strengthened with the passing of time and the comfort of familiarity, or it begins to freeze over.

Fileta believes that so many people fail to recognize these important seasons, and in turn, fail to learn and grow through them. In the book, she shares about everything from the importance of developing emotional intimacy, to assessing your conflict style, to the many aspects of attraction, to navigating a lack of excitement in a relationship and everything in between. She offers hope that no matter what season you’re currently in, it can be used to enrich your life and deepen your relationships. Because seasons are meant to be passed through again, and again, and again.

Love in Every Season teaches that healthy relationships are something you make, not something you find, and that even in seasons of pain and difficulty, there is unseen work being accomplished.

No matter what age or stage you’re in as you navigate through friendship, family, dating or marriage, each relationship offers opportunities to open your heart and stretch your love. Readers will learn that recognizing patterns of each season and understanding how to navigate each one with intention is important to the health of any relationship.

About the Author

Debra Fileta is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook or Instagram @TrueLoveDates, or book a session with her today at TrueLoveDates.com.

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“Love In Every Season” by Debra Fileta

 

075: Debra Fileta

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I welcome Debra Fileta to this week’s episode of Thriving Beyond Belief!

Debra is a wife, mother of three, and a licensed professional counselor, specifically dealing with relationship-focused issues. She also has written two books, Choosing Marriage, and True Love Dates!

Debra has such insight on working on relationships in a healthy and balanced way. There are so many issues that we discuss in relationships, specifically within the Christian culture. Just because you are a believer in Jesus doesn’t mean you will naturally be good at certain relationships. Just like anything in life, we need to put in time and effort and practice to make any relationship work.

For Debra’s definition of thriving in relationships, she says that “relationships don’t exist for us to just get through them. We are meant to thrive in all of our relationships and let them be testimonies in our lives.”
She speaks with such wisdom about what the goal of relationships are. The end goal is not happiness, and Debra dives into this to explain what our focus in relationships should be. We talk about the fact that healthy relationships are made up of healthy individuals and discuss the steps to take for yourself that will in turn help improve your relationships.

Debra brings up an amazing point: we see that Jesus had to go through the lowest of the low to get to the point of resurrection. We need to know that we may have to go through the dark season of exposing all of our issues in a relationship to get to where Jesus can resurrect it. Counseling is such a tool in this area. There is such an importance in counseling and learning to fight the stigma that counseling is for issues that have already arisen. But our culture needs to let counseling be something that helps us maintain health in our lives, whether in relationships or not.

Let’s not believe that passivity and selflessness are the same thing. Let conflict be a place to learn and discuss and be vulnerable. Discussing hard things isn’t just saying what you think. It is about digging deeper and wondering what the root of the conflict is. That is what leads to true healing.

All of Debra’s links

I can’t wait for you to tune in and listen today!

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